"Be Right Back"episode of "Black Mirror" definitely tugged my heartstrings.
Apart of me appreciate this episode because it reveals the reality of how we use technology, especially social media (Facebook and Instagram) as a mechanism to cope with a loss of a loved one.
As Martha finds solace in chatting with Ash through messenger and other digital communication; she slowly but surely craves more of his presence and attention. Similarly, I wish there was a way to abandon Facebook memory, because with each reminder with a picture of a loved one I took pictures with or often quoted in my statuses; I suddenly become depressed in knowing that this is just a memory and their presence no longer lives here. I often question the personality of Martha, because obviously she's not always herself in this episode. And honestly, I am not always myself when I know someone isn't longer here.
**SN: I also hate how the Black community uses religion as an erasure by saying,"to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord"; though I believe that is true; religion can't remove the grief and pain I feel when I lose a loved one. We must stop sweeping our emotions under a rug and thinking its going to disappear like fairy dust.**
In sum, as humans I think its best for us to cope with loss without the use of technology because it always has a way of reminding us of someone we loss - whether its from a status of a mutual friend or even a picture. In that moment, we should cope with our loss through writing. Writing and journaling has been a therapeutic avenue for me because I am able to feel, express, and connect with my thoughts with a paper and pen.
4 comments:
I understand your grief,if its one thing I know its death. I mean I have met him so much he has my private number. That being said I feel that whatever helps people cope with is something they should be able to decide, if talking to someone through a simulated app or looking up memories on facebook helps them cope, then good for them. Some might not take it to the extreme like Martha did sometime its just hearing there voice. There is no easy answer for grief because if affects us all so differently. I think we should let me do what works for them and just be as supportive as we can.
Technology dies get the better of us sometimes, it consumes us emotionally. I agree with what you said about how Facebook has turned into a memory lane and all it does is remind us of those who are just a memory to us. but sometimes that memory is a good one and it brings joy to our face.
About your side note, when people say that our loved one is with the lord its their way to make us feel better. No phrase can ever take the pain of grief, bit it may help us believe that he or she is in a better place. A place where all of the injustices that happen daily don't occur there.
Angie, I think the way you express how you felt about Be Right Back is accurate to how we do deal with emotions sometimes. Especially with social media being a dominant part of our lives. I love how you mention how social media, it’s hard to erase what you’ve said. Like you said, what you say on Facebook will always be there and it can be a constant reminder to add onto how you deal with a loss. I think your idea of writing in a journal is very beneficial in comparison to looking back at memories. Looking back at memories is nice, but sometimes it’s hard not to dwell on the pain of the suffering. Great blog post, by the way!
As a part of the "black Christian community" I have never even heard that saying and I tend to surround myself with the elderly, but I wont make this a debate on the rights and wrongs of generalizing. But I agree on the fact that we must develop a stronger mind that allows for us to leave technology out of the grieving processes. it is honestly getting out of hand now. Facebook is like an everyday obituary.
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