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Monday, November 21, 2016

Be Careful What You Wish For

Ashes, Ashes, We All

Fall Down

As humans, it is in our nature to desire love, pleasure and affection. We feel pain, we feel anger, we feel joy and happiness. This week we watched a very depressing yet eerie episode of Black Mirror, "Be Right Back." I believe the director of this film really outdid himself because it has been days and this episode is still in the back of my mind.
I think part of the reason this episode hit so close to home is that last year, my significant other tried to commit suicide. When I found out what he had tried to do, I felt devastated. I was heartbroken, and honestly very angry at him. I remember repeatedly (and honestly, quite selfishly) saying "How could you have been willing to do something like that to me?" I felt as if he had willingly tried to hurt me, which he obviously did not mean to. Still to this day I think of how different my life would have been if he had succeeded. If I had woken up in the middle of the night to a phone call from his mother, telling me what happened, and realising that I would never be able to feel his warm embrace or to ever hear his voice again. 
I think that's part of the reason that I felt so much for Martha. She had just lost her boyfriend and she just needed to find something to help her grieve. After watching this episode, I talked about it with my significant other who then asked me if I would have an "Ash 2" of him. He then told me that he wouldn't make a "Renee #2" because anything else trying to act like me would just make him angry, which is exactly what happened with Martha. 
Like I said, the director really outdid himself. In the first two minutes of the movie it starts off by foreshadowing the main plot point. In a "blink and you'll miss it moment" the screen inside the moving van shows a clip of "successful testing of synthetic human flesh advances" made to help paraplegics get back on their feet. This is to show the advancements in technology demonstrated throughout the film.
Even when real Ash was around and they were in the car, Martha tells him that singing that song just wasn't "very 'you," which got me questioning what really was "real" Ash.
Another important line in the show was when Ash was discussing how his mom dealt with the death of his brother, Jack. "She put them in the attic, that's how she dealt with things. And when Dad died up went his." This, too is foreshadowing of Martha dealing with her grief by keeping "Ash #2" in the attic.
And personally one of my favourite parts is during this same scene where Ash is telling her the story of that day in the picture, he mentions "her only boy giving her a fake smile" to which Martha responds that she didn't know it was fake. This leads Ash to respond that "maybe that makes it worse." This is why it hurt Martha to have Ash #2 around, because she could feel Ash but it wasn't just him. 
Finally the show ends with this heartbreaking line, "Well you aren't you, are you? You're just a few ripples of you. There's no history of you and you're just a performance of stuff he performed without thinking and that's not enough." Nothing would ever replace who Ash was, and like she said, no matter how "uncanny" the resemblance between Ash and Ash #2 was, it wasn't enough.


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I understand your concerns, but what if they could somehow transfer your stream of consciousness into a humanoid body. So I read somewhere they did body transfers on monkeys basically taking the head and putting them on another body, and it worked to an extent, the monkeys could not move but this is a problem that we could possibly solve. If this where to happen but instead of head transfers and just consciousness would you still feel the same?

Anonymous said...

Like I said in my blog, I would have done anything to see my grandfather one last time when he passed away 2 and half years ago. But now, I could never do that to myself. I would get angry. Just like you said Martha did. I would be just like her knowing that it's my grandfather, but it's not really him. I love this blog post so much and how you had such a connection with it as well.

Anonymous said...

I did not make the connection of the attic until I read your blog. I just thought, she just wanted him out of sight. However, I feel for you in regards to your boyfriend. Sometimes, we can be selfish and think that the reason they hurt themselves is to hurt us. You're right though, it is not because of that. Also, your boyfriend is right! I would be so mad if a robot tried to act like my boyfriend, if he were to die soon.

Renee Aylin Aguilar said...

@Betty, I'm honestly not sure how I would feel about it. Like I commented on Crystal's blog post, I honestly think we're so taken aback by this entire situation is because we're not used to it! I feel as if we'd have more exposure to the issue that it would be easier to agree or disagree rather than now.

@Rachel, thank you so much for your kind words. I completely understand how you feel. I sometimes wish I could have gotten the chance to say goodbye to my grandma but something like that, I feel, wouldn't help me as I wouldn't actually be saying goodbye to her, only to a machine. Again, thank you for reading, doll!

Renee Aylin Aguilar said...

@Claudia, I actually watched the episode right before writing the blog and the moment I saw that part I was like "OMGGGGG" haha, otherwise I definitely would not have been able to make the connection. & yes, I guess it's that we love them so much, that the pain they inflict on themselves we feel is directed towards us, but that's not the case and I should be better at understanding that :( & after he said that I actually started feeling the same way. Originally I had told him that I would want the robot to say goodbye to but I feel that would hurt me so much more. Thank you for your kind words, by the way!