Yes! We said it, Deception easily accessible right from the comforts of your house! |
Let me show you a testimony from a man named Nev. Our average Joe, Nev, is a photographer located in New York, New York. Nev was looking for a girl to actively pretend to be someone she is not.
Nev didn't have the right techniques and failed at finding a Salmon to call his.
Failed miserably. |
Then he saw our commercial! We made finding his fish in the sea much easier!
Soon, he had an online encounter with a woman named Megan through her mother Angela. Angela has a daughter named Abby who paints. Abby recreates photos of Nev's into paintings. Angel and Megan's voices were way similar and Nev was weirdly never able to talk to his fan, Abby. Suspicious a.k.a PERFECT!
With so many dating sites, social media platforms, constant access to the internet, it's so hard to confirm one has an exciting deception on their hands! With our help we can make that easy peasy salmon squeezie! God, our websites easy to use features will
make trying to blend your cabbage look like nuclear physics!
But that's not all! Remember our handsome Nev? You've been Salmoned! That is not Nev, haha, oh no, That's our pal Keith. My company is based off family traditions and mottos passed down from generation to generation. My family bonds over deception, so there is nothing I love more than tricking my clients! I want you to feel like we care about you like family!
"Salmon.com, Life is Hard
Don't make getting deceived just as hard!"
But anyway..
You might be thinking, wow, this has nothing to do with Catfish. Oh, yes it does my friend. It's so easy to be cat-fished nowadays that you might as well be purposefully searching for it when you online date! With Tinder, Grindr, Facebook, OkCupid!, Instagram,and. Snapchat, it's hard to keep up with the real and the fake. With technology taking over more and more of our lives we must maintain the ability to separate reality from fantasy, to maintain the ability to realize something is, no pun-intended, fishy, and to be able to stay strong when betrayed/ghosted. But, honestly, what seems like the most beneficial way to meet someone and connect is to meet in real life. What if we all just put away our phones while waiting in line at Starbucks, took our ear phones out while on the bus, or went to the store to buy those rolls of toilet paper instead of using Amazon Prime and interacted with the strangers around you? Social media makes us feel more connected but sadly we are the most isolated. And when this isolation engulfs our entire life, we tend to forget who we really are. What did we like doing before technology became a necessity? Where is the excitement from slowing learning qualities about someone by talking, not creeping on Facebook? What is it like to hug your friend and feel the warmth of someone instead of liking a picture on Instagram off your tiny, cold phone? Maybe it's best to do the majority of our meeting offline.
You youngsters will still do it, so unlike the 17 states that teach abstinence, I'll teach you about safety.
2 comments:
silly salmon don't live in the Sea :)
Sharks live in the sea.
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