Like most people who lose someone close to them, Martha had to go through grief. And like everyone, she did so in her own unique way. In the beginning, she shows the "normal" signs of grieving: trying to clear out clutter, putting away all the memories, crying, etc. Even after discovering her alternative, she doesn't even attempt to pursue it. It isn't until she finds out something she just can't go through without him that she makes use of the program which seemingly brings her dead lover back to life.
This act alone, I think, cannot be seen as unhealthy. It's more so the beginning of an obsession. Like many who lose loved ones, they can become attached to certain things left behind- a voicemail, a photo album, a memento. That in itself is not unhealthy; it is when the obsession takes over that the grief becomes abnormal, unhealthy and unstable. Martha's messaging and conversations with Ash2 become constant and consistent, taking precedent over her life. When she drops her phone, she becomes hysterical as she loses her connection to him. In that moment, the line is crossed between healthy and unhealthy grieving. She's begun to fully integrate him into her life, becoming so desperate that she allows Ash2 a body.
It's after Ash2's body is complete that Martha tries to use him to fulfill every aspect of her past relationship. Attempting, it seems, to ease herself back into the life she used to have. From there, it's just a downward spiral. At least it would have been if she hadn't realized how "odd" it was to have her dead husband's clone walking around- never eating, sleeping or really doing anything except tending to her. When her sister comes to visit, proud of her progress, Martha notices more and more her situation. She sees what she's doing.
Here, I think Martha loses the novelty of her obsession. Becoming aware that this isn't the real Ash. The same grief that she tried to avoid by bringing Ash2 into her life is the same grief that pushed her to kick Ash2 out of it again. This is when her grieving cycle syncs up with "normality" again -finally putting Ash2 away and genuinely moving forward in her life.
6 comments:
Well, I wonder, what is healthy grieving and how do we exhibit it? As I said in my publication, I agree that Martha's grief simply turned into obsession.
I am so glad this is the topic you chose to write on as I completely agree with you. The main dilemma in my opinion is seriously the fact that she has taken this to an extreme. Nobody really has the right to tell anyone how to grieve but at some point, someone must step in and let that person know they are doing nothing but making it harder on themselves. With no one to tell her that, she could not see for herself. You are right when you say "the act alone cannot be seen as unhealthy." I think the original idea was not a bad one, but that mental take over it had on her was the malignant part.
I do believe that people grieve in many different ways. Honestly, there is not a right or wrong way to grieve. After all, you won't get to physically see the person anymore. However, Martha's good intention turned into an obsession. I believe that she'll always have a spot in her heart but the best thing for her is to continue living her life.
I believe that this was a rather unhealthy way to grieve. Ash1 died so abruptly that Martha did not know how to deal with anything. I think that it was healthy for her to be able to listen to his voice and talk to him, but once that virtual Ash became human, it crossed over into an unhealthy obsession. Death is a part of life and part of a healthy grieving process is learning how to live without that person and keeping their memories alive. Martha's decision to bring back her dead lover was too much for her to bear, and actually made it harder for her to move on in life.
I think a bigger issue than the question of if Martha grieved the correct way, is to as ourselves why we as a society thought it was okay to develop a technology such as this. If this service had never been created then Martha wouldn't have had the option to begin with. As a society we should realize that this technology isn't healthy and that it is essentially preying on the minds of grieving people who can't necessarily think the way they would normally.
I agree that Martha was healthy with her grieving in the very beginning. She was not participating in unhealthy grieving the whole time. I think the issue that needs to be addressed is how far the technology can allow someone to go. There is obviously a line that is crossed, so there needs to be a solution to avoid situations such as the one Martha is in.
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