Something Smells Fishy

First things first, obviously we know that what Angela did to Nev is wrong.   A person should not lie to someone else about who they are. 


With that being said, I think we need to take a look at the circumstances Angela was in and what caused her to feel that she did have to lie to Nev.  Angela is living in a small town essentially in the middle of nowhere. This might not seem like a big deal, but it adds to her personal isolation.  This isolation is continued with the fact that she is taking care of two handicapped adults.  She does not get the luxury to just go out whenever she wants to, she is constantly busy dealing with her step-sons and with her young daughter.  Being a mom is a tough job to begin with for healthy children, I could only imagine how much harder it is to be a mom to two totally dependent individuals and a young girl. 


While these circumstances do not negate the fact that what Angela did is wrong, they do allow us to have some sort of an understanding for her motives.  I think, Angela was just looking for a way to escape her life.  I think she was looking for a way to be everything she wanted to be but could not because of her situation.  I do not by any means feel that Angela meant any harm by what she was doing, but I also do not think she thought all the way through the consequences of her actions, both on her family and on Nev.


In an ideal world, Angela would have realized that she was in a place in her life that she did not want to be, and she would have done something about that.  Whether she would have decided to move away to pursue painting or to go out and find some friends that shared her common interests or if she had gone to see a therapist; in an ideal world there are numerous things she could have done instead of pretending to be all these people on Facebook and starting a relationship with Nev.  Unfortunately, this is not an ideal world, and she did pretend to be all these people on Facebook and I do not think she meant for the situation to get so far out of hand.  I think the whole thing started simply as her wanting someone to appreciate her artwork, and she felt that it would not be as appreciated if people knew it was her artwork versus people thinking it was Abby's.  I think after talking to Nev for a while, Angela realized she had feelings for him and that is when things started to get out of control.  As I said in class, I have a friend who did this to someone and for her it was like her escape; she could be who she wanted to be and she did not have to think about her actual circumstances. 


I do not think catfishing is the right thing to do, and I do not think what Angela did should be brushed off, but I do think we should think about what drives a person to do this rather than to jump to conclusions and automatically assume she is crazy and label her as a bad person.  I know it is a cliché, but I truly think sometimes we need to step into someone else's shoes to see their perspective on certain situations.