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Friday, April 15, 2016

The Breaking of a Sacred Trust


            The way in which our social lives have changed in the last 20 years has introduced issues which before did not exist.  The film documentary Catfish explores one of the issues which has arisen from our use of online social media, catfishing.  Catfishing is the act of deceiving someone online in order to gain their trust and love through the use of a fake identity.  In the film, Angela does this to Nev, a photographer from New York.  Angela portrays herself as an attractive middle aged woman whose younger daughter is a great artist.  According to Angela, Abby has done all of the paintings that Nev receives and has been featured in many art galleries around the town where she lives.  Nev eventually learns about Angela’s supposed daughter Megan, who is also very attractive and a singer.  Unbeknownst to Nev however, Angela, is playing the part of herself, Megan, and the child prodigy Abby all through Facebook.  Nev eventually becomes suspicious about the actual identities of the people that he is communicating with online and decides to drive to the home of Angela to find out the truth.  After arriving, Nev quickly realizes that the people he had been communicating with have all actually been Angela.

            What Angela did is morally wrong for a number of reasons.  Her actions, for one, violated the vows that she took in marrying her husband Vince.  More than anything she violated the trust in their marriage.  The debate on whether her actions constitute cheating is beside the point.  Whether it was or not, any spouse would have felt betrayed if they found out the things that she was messaging about with Nev.  If it hurts the spouse then it does not matter whether it was cheating or not, the marriage cannot be that same afterwards.  There will continue to be doubts about what the other person is doing online or on their cellphones or when they are “out” with friends after such an incident.  In that sense then, it was morally wrong for breaking the trust in her marriage.  Is what she did understandable, is another question.  By the looks of her life’s portrayal in the film, it seems that she leads a very lonely and stressful life.  She obviously has no time to go out and make friends, but she could have tried other things instead in order to obtain what she wanted from Nev and specifically with her husband.

            The other big reason as to why what she did is morally wrong comes down to her deception.  She not only lied to Nev, but she was using other people for her own gain and thus merely as a means to get to Nev.  Even though she says that those people portrayed parts of her actual self, she should not portray herself as someone with a completely different physical appearance.  The physical appearance as shallow as it sounds, plays a large part in how attractive you find someone.  This would suggest then that Nev fell in love with not only the personality of Megan but also her physical appearance.  Thus Angela’s deception and use of other people as merely a means makes her actions morally wrong.     

2 comments:

Andy Madeksho said...

I think you make a very valid point on the marriage vows. To quote your title, marriage ought to be a "sacred trust". I know if I had a spouse, and I found out that he or she was essentially sexting another person, I would likely feel betrayed. I remember Angela lying to her husband Vince about the money she was apparently making by selling her paintings; in reality, she was not selling anything. That's a pretty clear example of breaking trust.

Anonymous said...

When you think about it, it is ironic that Angela professed to her husband that she valued her family more than her lost opportunities in life. It's sort of another betrayal of trust that she chose the online escape of communicating with Nev to deal with her stress. It is important to have methods to deal with stress, especially in cases such as hers, but having an intimate relationship with someone requires a degree of trust and openness. I think that if she were honest about how she felt with her husband, they could find a way to make their situation a little better.